💌 Sister Letter: Why I'm Done Being “Resilient”

Hey Sis,

Let’s talk about a word we’ve heard too much and felt too deeply—

Resilient.

It’s been stamped on our backs like a gold star.

“You’re so strong.”

“You always bounce back.”

“Black women are the most resilient.”

Yeah. I used to love that. I was that. I owned it.

But now?

I call BULLSHIT.

🧠Let's Break it Down

Resilient (adj.):

Able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.

Sounds powerful, right? But here's the thing- Recover quickly?

Bounce back?

Since when was that the goal?

💔 What They Don’t Say About Resilience

Sis, I don’t bounce back quickly.

And neither should you have to.

I take my time. I lay low. I feel the weight of it all.

I break if I need to. I rest. I restore.

That’s not weakness.

That’s wisdom.

But this culture praises women—Black women especially—for how much we can take. We’ve been taught that surviving is noble. That strength means silence. That pain is proof of power.

But I don’t want my power to come from pain anymore.

🕊️ I Want Something Else

I want grace.

I want softness.

I want to be held, not just hailed.

I want rest without guilt.

I want to be a woman, not a soldier.

Resilience tells the world they can stop checking on us.

It excuses neglect. It normalizes burnout. It strips us of our right to heal slowly.

And I’m done with that.

✨ Let This Be Your Permission Slip

If you’re tired of being told how “strong” you are…

If you want to cry, collapse, scream, rest…

Do it. Please.

Take your time.

Feel deeply.

Don’t rush your healing.

Don’t bounce back.

Rebuild when you're ready—brick by brick.

Let’s stop celebrating survival and start creating safety.

Let’s stop worshipping resilience and start honoring our rest.

With love,

Indigo Moon

Your sister in softness